Spastic Dog Makes for Spastic Owner

I bet all of us at one point or another in our lives have owned a dog that you would rather shoot than look at. I have… More than one, in fact. Currently, I own some inbred species of Blue Heeler whom desperately needs a job.  If you know stock dogs at all, you know that Blue Heelers are amongst the most hard headed breeds.  I don’t take him to work with me at the ranch, generally.  Mostly, because he doesn’t listen worth a crap.  I chalk this up to several kicks to the head from a well-aimed horse or three.  He only barks at night, chases deer, jumps up on you, grabs your coat sleeves or pant legs wanting to play, frequently drags dead carcasses in the yard to roll in and chew on, and fights with other dogs.  Other than that, he is great! I’ve often heard that in order to be a horse lover, you must also love dogs. Apparently them whisperin’ trainers find training techniques for the two species parallel each other. Who knew? Well, my horse whispering nor dog whispering skills parallel. At all… My horse will usually come around at some point, but it’s been 5 years with my dog.  A long, long 5 years.  I have yet to whisper a nicety into his ear, and have him reward me with good behavior.  I think I could get farther with an ornery, barn sour mule.  Somedays, I love my dog, but most days, I want to throw him in a corral full of mules and test his survival skills.  Still, he remains loyal to me, the one who loves him least. My kids hug him, my husband plays with and pets him.  Me? I scold, chase, and yell at the animal.  As a puppy, I thought I could give him a name that would perhaps fit his nature as he grew. Spud.  It has had the opposite effect.  Spud is spastic, uncontrollable, idiotic, neurotic, and lovable all in one dose.  If he could talk, I am sure he would have a strong lisp. His greeting would be something like, “Hey guyths! You’re home! Ssshooo what are we’sthh gonna do? Do youth thee what I drug in the yard today?”  Spud, has more than once helped my horse find some interesting dance moves by heeling him, and leaving me grabbing leather.  He makes sure there isn’t a bird within a 5 mile radius of the house.  He chases tires on bicycles, but won’t ride quietly in a vehicle. There is a short circuit somewhere in that brain of his, but when he is good, I love him. Really love him.  Spastic or not, he is my dog.  Besides, they say your children and pets reflect the person you are… Well… hells bells…

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