It’s the wild ones who will set you free✨

Going through old pictures tonight…This night, this sunset was magic. I sat for the better part of two hours watching it come and leave on the silty bank outcropping overlooking the Milk River. It’s been almost a year since I sat there that night. Wanting something more. Something different for my life. But I remember the peace I allowed myself to feel in this moment. I worked diligently to be mindful and present in the moment. I let the colors of the sky melt into my my mind. I looked at the river below me, slowly finding her channel, spreading out. I remember feeling just like that river wondering if I’d ever see a change. And I did. It just took time.

There’s something so absolutely peaceful about the solitude of the prairie. I’d never felt more alone than I did there. But I also found strength. As I stood on the old iron bridge staring Westward, looking at the years and years of carvings and initials adorning the tattered metal of that bridge, I knew I wasn’t alone. It was evident others had come to this place to undoubtedly reflect on their own journey.

Life has passed by seemingly quick and slow. Just like that river that rolled slowly below me that night. And as I look back on undoubtably one of the biggest years of my life from an emotional standpoint, I’m just simply grateful. And as I look at the colors in this photo, I know God had my hand. Change came. Hurt followed. And moments of doubt. Moments of wanting to retreat back to familiarity. But acceptance of the new came. And so did love. Softer and greater than I could’ve ever hoped for.

The moral of this rambling… just be. Do what you can with what you have while you’re waiting and wondering. You’ll get just where you’re meant to be going. But love these moments anyway.

Happy Trails~

Heather

#optoutside #mtbigskyseries #mtadventure #bestill #ipulledoverforthis #liveyourlife #liveauthentic

To My Young Adult Kids:

#1. I’m sorry for those times that my mom voice even made the neighbor’s kids from 5 miles away brush their teeth and get dressed.

#2. I’m sorry for those times I lied to you when you asked what I was eating and my cheeks were obviously packed like a frickin’ squirrel with chocolate candy from your Halloween bucket, but in all fairness, I gave you life, you should give me the Reese’s without questions.

#3. I’m sorry I made you clean your room when the rest of the house clearly depicted I didn’t otherwise give a crap. Honestly, I never cared how messy your room really was. I just needed to do my job as a mom by pretending your room should be clean. That, and you know, the smell. But damn…the power of authority 😉

#4. I’m the worst passenger you will ever have in your vehicle. What can I say? I’m a control freak, and this isn’t a NASCAR race. It only becomes that when we’re late for something and I’m driving. End of story.

#5. You’re welcome for your stellar taste and wide variety in music. However, I am sorry for never singing lullabies to you. Actually, you may thank me for that later.

#6. Please learn to eat something besides cereal, chicken nuggets and pizza at some point. Just… yeah. Please.

#7. You are the reason I’ve come to love wine. Thank you for that. I never knew the power a bottle of vino held. You’ve sophisticated me.

#8. I still watch you when you sleep. I’m a total creep like that. But you’re beautiful to me when you’re at peace.

#9. Never ever give up on your stupid dreams. Never. Because they aren’t stupid. And neither are you. I happen to think you’re pretty kick ass and can do as such. Just remember to smile pretty, stay humble and be kind when you do.

#10. I love you. I do. You can’t disappoint me. My love comes without limits for you. And there’s absolutely nothing I wouldn’t do for you. You know…as long as it’s in the budget. Joking. You are my people. My greatest love. Always. Thank you for what you give to me as your mother every single day.

Now get out there and remember what you’re made of today. Maybe today won’t be your best day, but maybe it will. I will love you regardless. ~Mom

Social media… {insert ginormous eye roll}; the place people feel entitled to know your shiznit, your business, your relationship status, your kids’ birthdays, be informed of your dinner choices, criticize, laugh at you, know where you’ve been and with whom you’ve been doing it, satisfy their curiosity, speculate, compare themselves, think they know best, want to inject their opinion, spread rumors…  Yeah, it’s happened to all of us that partake in these sites.  If it hasn’t happened to you, if you haven’t walked down the streets of your own hometown, and people instantly comment on your most recent post on Facebook, well then, sweetheart, you ain’t livin’ through the web!  It will happen, and you’re in for a real treat.

That recently happened to me when I {gasp} removed my last name and changed it to my middle instead to read ‘Heather Anne’, and let me just say, nothing quite makes you feel more infamous in a small town than people thinking you must be going through some damn mid-life crisis.  I sort of began to feel like a papered quarter horse mare only coveted for her sire’s name, when I thought I was just your average grade, put-out-to-pasture old brood mare. {Insert laugh} I felt frustrated and angry. Why in the hell do people care that much about what I’ve been up to? When did my name become what people wanted to discuss? If I had only known it would cause such a stir, I would’ve died my hair, posted a nude photo and changed my name to Elizabeth Taylor. Not really. But, seriously…

That being said, it also stirred some thoughts about what really is in a name anyway? What makes me, well, me? Because, guess what? It really isn’t my name. I recently had a conversation with a very loving and amazing family member about just this. Her kindness and insight always blows me away, and at this particular juncture of my life, I so appreciated her thoughts about the subject “what’s in a name”.

In her words, our name gives us our lineage and DNA traits, and sometimes one heck of a reputation to either uphold or break.  From my father and mother comes the DNA, my hair, my skin (not sure whom to thank for that acne just yet) my eyes, my short legs (also, thank you) and my barnyard mouth (not my mother’s). I didn’t know my father growing up, and through a lifetime of events that are more personal in nature, I still don’t yet know what I get from him, because even the last name didn’t stick. Regardless, I am made up of two people, but a whole helluva lot more than two names.  Marriage tagged on another, giving me an identity as a wife and again as a mother, but when that came to an end, I had to find me again. Just me. Not anyone’s name. Not my heritage. Not my father’s. Not my mother’s. Not my husband’s. Mine.

So what does Heather mean? Rest assured, my name is synonymous with words like “crazy”, “strong willed”, “temperamental”, “ornery”, and “funny”.  But the real answer to that question is truly an ongoing journey.  And you know what? It’s a pretty colorful and amazing one, sorta like that mountain flower my mama named me after.  And like it, I’d like to think that I have enough resilience and grace and beauty to continue to grow through those winter storms, unwarranted adversity and healthy change. And hopefully, when that sun comes out and cares to shine a little on me, I can grace the paths of others that I cross everyday.  May my name make my children proud, my parents proud, and most of all, me, proud.  Because in the end, I want my name to not be remembered most on social media, but by those closest to me as something good.

Whether you are man or woman, take the time to remember what’s in your name…

Happy Trails~

Heather