Skinny Jeans

Dude season is in full swing.  It became evident when guiding my first trail ride of the season.  The rest of you call them tourists, but I call ’em dudes. 

The first sunny weekend was here, and I finally had an excuse to leave the confines of my refines. I was looking forward to catching my horse and hitting the trail; even if that meant showing dudes Montana’s splendor atop an ornery dude horse.  Truth is, I love my job, and if it wasn’t for these so called dudes, I wouldn’t have a job at all.  But I still laugh when I picture this guy.
A group of people showed up in the barnyard for their morning ride, and amongst that group, was a skinny jean, penny loafer wearing “dude”.  We recommend appropriate riding attire, and I have seen people show up in all sorts of outfits: flip flops, skirts, shorts…you name it; but this guy took the cake in his pink t-shirt, penny loafers, and skinny jeans.  Now, if you have not had the pleasure of seeing what skinny jeans look like, imagine sausage casings…tight and “skinny” at the bottom leaving little room for movement.  (It is my humble opinion such jeans should not be allowed on ANY two legged creature!) Now, picture tight skinny jeans while mounting a horse. No go.  He squatted and stretched his way around the horse, but it was to no avail.  He looked like drunk, peg-legged penguin trying attempt cheerleading jumps while trying to get his foot in a stirrup three feet off the ground.  If my giggling wasn’t enough, the horse’s look at this guy was priceless. I do believe the horse rolled his eyes. Well with help from the mounting block, the dude finally made it aboard only to endure what proceeded to be the longest two hours of his life.  Well, he did make the ride, munching, trotting horse and all, but if watching him try to mount the horse wasn’t funny enough, you can imagine the dismount. I am still laughing…Yep, dude season is in full swing.